Welcome to So Many Thoughts, a semi-weekly newsletter about royal style and the other parts of life I want to think through with you. You can subscribe here and follow me on Instagram at @EHolmes. Thank you!
My first thought when I learned that Hitha Palepu was writing a book on Kamala Harris was: Yes, Hitha! This is your book! Some books are so uniquely suited to the author and subject, and this is one of them. Hitha is a longtime admirer of our first female vice president and a true multi-hyphenate herself: CEO of a pharmaceutical company, investor, founder of #5SmartReads, and travel blogger. She is also a fantastic follow on Instagram, where she gives out sage advice alongside pics of her favorite books, beloved boys, and the occasional Taco Bell meal.
Hitha's second book, titled We’re Speaking: The Life Lessons of Kamala Harris: How to Use Your Voice, Be Assertive, and Own Your Story, is one part biography and one part how-to guide. She tells Harris's story while weaving in her own experiences, too. “This book is very much a handbook on how do I shatter the boxes and the narratives and the stereotypes?” Hitha told me. “To show up in the world with all of my multitudes, as my truest self, with strength and power and grace — and to take up the space I deserve and claim.” YES.
We’re Speaking comes out next week (pre-order it today!); I got a sneak peek over the summer. No spoilers here, but the two words that leapt to my mind were authoritative and authentic. I loved learning more about our vice president and appreciated the book's many needed reminders. “I hope women when they read this are re-introduced to the person they have always been,” Hitha said.
As a little preview, I asked Hitha to share three life lessons she learned from VPOTUS:
Drown out the noise. “There is a big difference in the work and how people will portray your work, so there is such power in learning how to put your head down and work relentlessly. Put some blinders up around the noise.”
Stick with what works. “When you find something that works for you, stick with it. That goes from a speaking style to your physical style. I’ve kind of embraced different uniforms depending on how I’m feeling in a day. It’s going to help you show up confident and powerful, and ready to fight for what you are fighting for.”
Make time for family and friends. “This is a woman who, even though she’s one of the most powerful and busy women on the planet, makes time for her family and friends in a way that I'm in awe of. Learn to seize the moment to stay connected with loved ones — send a quick check-in text, staying on top of birthdays. It goes a long way in relationship building.”
Pre-order Hitha’s book today! Pre-orders make a *huge* difference for authors. You can order We’re Speaking at your local independent bookstore, as well as Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, Target, and Amazon.
And please mark your calendars! I will be hosting a conversation with Hitha and Bel Canto Books on Wednesday, October 27. More details to come soon.
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My Thoughts on Your Questions
First of all: I hear you. You have been through a lot. A LOT. The stakes are high. It's a scary time.
But also: HOORAY. You have an embryo to transfer! That’s amazing. Truly. A transfer is the best part of a really difficult process. So take a moment to sit with this stage and the hope that it holds.
During our infertility journey, I had six embryo transfers. A few thoughts on how I coped:
Self care above all else! You have asked a lot of your mind and body to get to this place. Whatever feels right for you to do now, do that. For me, it was drinking a lot of water, napping as much as I could, and eating Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food straight out of the pint.
Acupuncture if you’re up for it. I found a fantastic acupuncturist who saw me throughout our infertility journey — I thought of it as “acu-therapy.” Visiting her before and after my transfers always helped me mentally and physically.
Only take the advice that speaks to you. The internet is a hot mess of (sometimes very random) tips for these moments. I am NOT saying any of this makes an actual difference. Take what you want, leave the rest. I chose to go gluten free in the weeks leading up to my transfer. Afterwards, I sucked on the core of a pineapple (I know, I know — totally ridic) and watched Love Actually once because a nurse told me laughing helps.
Communicate with those going through the transfer with you. Matt reminded me I was very emotional for the whole damn process. Saying what I was feeling and what I needed helped him respond in a more productive way. The same went for my close family and friends who came on this journey with us.
Thinking of anyone in this position and sending strength. This is tough but so are you.
Have a question for me? Email it to hello@somanythoughts.com.
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Five Things To Check Out This Week
READ: In my unlearning / re-thinking of Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples’ Day, I found this 2019 story helpful: “For Native Americans, Columbus Day has long been hurtful. It conjures the violent history of 500 years of colonial oppression at the hands of European explorers and those who settled here — a history whose ramifications and wounds still run deep today.” (NPR)
READ: Bad Art Friend has gripped my Twitter feed for a week, and then I roped you all in. UGH SORRY. Two links for you, if you are like me and can’t stop thinking about it! Then I promise I will stop.
“The only thing I’m sure of is that by now, both women have spent tens of thousands of dollars fighting in court about a short story that sold for $425. They have also, as of this weekend, achieved the worst kind of fame, the kind where people on the internet boil your entire life down to your most regrettable relationship and argue about whether you are a bad person or a terrible one.” (Rottin’ in Denmark)
“Perhaps the only legitimate question, then, is: have we always been this mean or are we getting worse?” (The Guardian)
WATCH / LISTEN: I’ve got SMT on LuLaRich, the new documentary series on LuLaRoe. Wow to both the popularity and the problems behind these ubiquitous leggings. And yes, I fully watched so that I could appreciate Kate Kennedy’s deep dive podcast on it. That’s next on my listen list! (Amazon Prime, Be There In Five)
SHOP: I’m obsessed with ivory shoes for fall. So versatile, so fresh, such an unexpected pop. These flats have been following me around the internet and I finally splurged on them. (Stuart Weitzman)
PS: Dr. Anthony Fauci said trick-or-treating is a go this year, HUZZAH! But just to be safe, I’m ordering my kids themed face masks to match their Halloween costumes. (Etsy)
Thanks, as always, for reading! I will see you back in your inbox with a royal deep dive on Friday. You can hit "Join the Discussion" to share your thoughts on this newsletter over at my Bulletin page.
