How do you feel when you take a selfie? I don’t think twice about capturing photos of my kids but when I turn that camera around to snap myself…I get a little (read: a lot) self conscious. Scrolling through my camera roll, most of my selfies are taken in my home or my car. I realized it's because I find it to be a safe selfie place, tucked away where no one can see and/or judge me.
Whyyyy am I so awkward about this?
Nora McInerny to the rescue! I saw her September of Selfies on Instagram and had to reach out. Do you all follow Nora? You should follow Nora. She is absolutely hilarious and very accomplished: the author of books (plural!), host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, and a treasure of a person who talks openly about life after the loss of her first husband.
“I refer to myself as deeply shallow,” Nora told me in our delightful phone chat. Then she dropped some harsh truth about why selfies are so hard: “Anything that women like is easy to trivialize — and we do it to each other.” OOF. Yes. And also: let’s do better?
Nora has thoughts on reframing the selfie, informed by her grief. Selfies are a way to say, "I'm glad I'm here," she told me. So when you see someone take a photo of themselves, instead of muttering “FFS, what are you doing?” try “They are documenting themselves.”
I think a lot about my mom, who passed away 17 years ago next month, and how I wish I had more photos of her. What I wouldn't give to have a selfie or two! So, do me a favor and take a picture of yourself today. “Document your beautiful and brief existence on this planet,” Nora wrote on Instagram. “You are worth noting and noticing.”
My Thoughts on Your Questions!
Headbands are sticking around and I am thrilled; I think it’s a testament to their versatility. But I know from experience that the bigger ones take a little getting used to — so here are a few thoughts on where to start:
Try a plain black velvet headband. It’s a classic look as we head into fall and the most subtle version of this statement piece. Try popping one on next time you wear a little black dress or a leather jacket.
Experiment with a patterned outfit and a solid headband. My go-to headband equation is a floral dress + a headband in a solid color that coordinates with the print. It's a great pop of color.
Keep the rest of your accessories to a minimum. Let your headband be the main attraction. (But I’m never going to say no to a bold lip!)
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Five Things To Check Out This Week
READ: Simone Biles gives her first in-depth interview about the Olympics in a must-read piece by Camonghne Felix. “Black women and girls—talented, genius, used up by institutions, forgotten about when we are the ones in need of protection. It’s no wonder her body resisted,” Felix writes. (New York Magazine)
READ: Absolute sweetest story about a boy who wore his mask on school picture day. He told the photographer: “I always listen to my mom!” (People)
LAUGH: Mercury just went into retrograde. Some advice for ya. (Jake Cornell on Instagram)